or maybe try some water dumbass
kid 1: whatcha doing
kid 2: eating chocolate
kid 1: where’d ya get it
kid 2: doggy dropped it
*8 years later*
me: they were eating poop
based off this text post because its adorable
look at how cute this is
THIS WAS A CHILDRENS MOVIE
A CHILDRENS BIBLE MOVIE
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Amen
FUN FACT: in hebrew, “feet” is a euphemism for genitals.
so if you ever see “washing feet” in the bible, it, uh. yeah.
(source is my old bible class textbook which i don’t have on me anymore :( )
HOLY SHIT WHAT
I MEAN CORRECT ME IF IM WRONG BUT I SWEAR TO GOD I REMEMBER READING A STORY IN THE BIBLE WHERE JESUS CLEANED THE ‘FEET’ OF A LADY PROSTITUTE INFRONT OF HIS TWELVE DISCIPLES WHO GOT SERIOUSLY GROSSED OUT. THEM GETTING REALLY SUPER GROSSED OUT BY THAT NEVER MADE SENSE TO ME UNTIL NOW.
JESUS CHRIST JESUS.
THAT HASHTAG I”m—-—
jesus has his feet washed and anointed by a woman a), he washed the feet of his disciples b) and the bible has been translated c)
Okay. I have seen this so many times and I’m about to lose my shit.
The Bible, being largely prose and poetry often employs euphemisms when discussing subjects that were sensitive at the time. UNHEARD OF I know, but bear with me. Sometimes it refers to penises as columns, but if you genuinely believe every time the Bible mentions a column it means dick, you’re sorely mistaken. Feet in Hebrew texts are pretty flexible, “to water the feet” is to piss, to “sleep at someone’s feet” could mean intercourse, AND HEY SOMETIMES WASHING OF THE FEET IS LITERALLY WASHING OF THE FUCKING FEET.
FURTHERMORE. The Bible is comprised of different books, written by different people, in different languages, and those languages have different words with different meanings. The books of John and Luke, where most of the feet washing occurs, were written in Greek, not Hebrew.
Aside from that, let’s shut the hell up and look at the context:
If you have ever had to walk over dirt and sand in sandals, then you know how uncomfortable and dirty your feet would be after a day’s journey. Your sandals are made of animals skins, so they would be utterly filthy and never worn inside. It was customary for the lowest servant of the household to then wash your feet so you’re not tracking mud throughout the house. And if you’re expecting guests, it was a sign of love and respect to wash their feet once they entered your home.
So yeah, it’s either group hand jobs (which seems TOTALLY PLAUSIBLE for devout Jewish teenagers in antiquity) or it was an act of humility and devotion. It was a demonstration of being a servant to your fellow man. It was shocking, not because it was sexual in nature but because he put himself on the floor, a position reserved for the lowest in servitude.
Like, if you legitimately believe he was going around and bathing people’s genitals I don’t even know what to do with you Tumblr. I don’t evennnnnn knowwwwwwwwwwww
In the Tumblr textpost system, historically inaccurate offenses are considered especially heinous. The dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the We Actually Know Shit, Please Cut it Out Unit. These are their stories.
MY ENTIRE LIFE.
THERE IT IS AGAIN! THERE IT FUCKING IS! i’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT THIS PHOTO FOR YEARS AND NEVER COULD FIND IT!! THE LAN PARTY WITH THE GUY DUCT-TAPED TO THE CEILING!! BACK IN ANCIENT TIMES WHEN PEOPLE STILL USED CATHODE MONITORS AND WHEN COUNTERSTRIKE WAS THE NEW THING. THIS SHIT IS REAL. THIS IS REAL SHIT. SHIT THAT HAPPENED.
why does facebook chat only work when my message contains the words Mark Zuckerburg right now
smack that ass from 8 feet away